Friday, September 3, 2010
Guilt
I have days where I feel like I am a fantastic Mom. I also have days, where I feel like I could be doing so much better. This is normal right?? To question one's parenting skills?? I don't know...I just look at my children and I often wonder if I am teaching them as much as they are teaching me. Could I be doing more? I feel horrible when I lose my patience, raise my voice, or want to spend 15 minutes to myself. I know they will not stay this young forever and that really gets me. I love watching them grow, learn, and change with each passing day, but I am so scared for the days that they want nothing to do with me. I know I have a while before that happens, but I can't help but think about it. I am trying so hard to cherish every moment I have with them, but I sometimes feel it just isn't enough. That I should be spending every minute of every day with them. I feel guilty when I sit at my computer and watch a show or surf the Internet. I mean, those are minutes I could be spending with them. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it's how I feel. Especially in this moment.
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Darling, you earn the right for those moments....especially when Little Man pours an entire bag of sugar on the floor...just after you mopped it!!! Sigh....it doesn't get better until you read your daughter's blog and the memories come flooding back! You will make it!!!
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you even ask this or think this makes you a fabulous parent. Taking those moments to your self makes you a fantastic mom, because if you can't take care of your self, ALL of you, then you can't be the best for them. I feel the same way everyday, especially when i hear all the wonderful things you say. I keep thinking of how I could be sooo much better. I love you Cassie, never think you are not a good parent, but striving to do better is never bad either, as long as you take care of your self and accept your limits, you will always be amazing.
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